i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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