My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
