When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize