I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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