You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
