can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
