I hate your face
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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