I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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