Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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