I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
