she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
