So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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