dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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