Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
