i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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