Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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