new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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