3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I will pee on everything he values.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
