It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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