okay pat passed out under dana's car
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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