Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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