did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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