i already hear my dad disowning me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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