Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
