Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
