anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
A+ Viking dick
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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