Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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