I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Alive.
So much puke
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
