We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
