does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
