Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize