I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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