There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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