If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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