VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
