i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
that is very illegal...i love you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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