We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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