never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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