There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
