never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
