Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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