you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
