I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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