you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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