i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
