You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
