you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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