I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
