They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
