I think my fart just growled at me.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
