She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize