Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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