I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
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My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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