I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
