You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
