I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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