At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
