Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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