I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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