kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize