a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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