someone threw a dead crab at me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Bring me that man meat
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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