The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
