Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize