I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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