Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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