he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
